Here’s a little something from this blog that pokes fun at languages. The premise is that any language is related to another expressed generally via stating, ‘[a language] is [essentially another language….]’
I’e selected some examples from that blog, below:
Spanish is basically just a crude form of Vulgar Latin jazzed up with a little Basque and Arabic.
Argentinean is essentially Italian spoken so that other South Americans can’t catch on.
Castilian Spanish is mostly your average Spanish spoken while gagging on paella rice.
–Javier de la Rosa
For Semitic languages:
Arabic is essentially the result of a bottle of tabasco flushed down with a bottle of Stroh rum.
Biblical Hebrew is essentially Standard Arabic with a few consonants lost at the bottom of the Red Sea.
Modern Hebrew is the language of the Bible and the Talmud, refurbished by a mad pedant and bastardized by 5 million immigrants.
And for the language this blog is written in…
English is essentially any other language spoken with a very hot potato in one’s mouth.
American English is essentially a tool to keep a person from ever being able to speak another language.